emotional overload

It's 2:14 in my cellphone clock, out of my dorm and inside an internet rental shop.

I just.. don't want to sleep.
Visited Ma'am Vicky and spent the whole time waiting for RenRen, whom I treated to Starbucks. Had a lot of talk with them, and more and more everyday, changes are happening in my life again.
These past few days, it's been a roller coaster life.

It's my head, my thoughts, my heart, my health.
I know Coffee makes me suffer Arrhythmia, which somehow I think also makes me suffer migraines again, but I can't stop it. Somehow, if this kills me, so be it haha.

There are many thoughts on my mind, and I haven't been praying enough.
I'm going to apply for a new job soon and then leave The Aristocrat quickly.
Try to move on from Caloy, whom suddenly remembered me again, whom I'm really in love with, whom makes me both happy and hurt so bad haha. Real love huh?
It's like, when we love we're bound to be hurt, just as we're bound to hurt those who loves us.

OMG LIEK LOLOLOL WTF AM I REALLY WRITING THIS?!11!!
Dunno what's happening to me now, there's the feeling of wanting to rush things in my life, not wanting to be stuck.
... fucking shit, I can't concentrate, I'm having palpitations again haha.

I just wanted to write.. too bad I wasn't able to write about how happy I was last Feb. 4 (with Caloy at The Fort and Greenbelt) before today haha, because everything about us suddenly just stopped, again -to be more specific, just last night. I don't understand, and I want to hate him.
And at the same time I'm happy about something, because I'm going to resign soon haha.
Can I die from mental/emotinal overload? I hope so, want to rest.


New life, I'm going for a new life.