things that made me cry recently

BBC's In The Flesh
-deals with acceptance and suicide and death/life, oh no I'm tearing up just thinking about it.

ITV's Broadchurch Trailer
-it's nuts, just the trailer and bawling. It's on my list of torrents.

Homosexuality and connection to BL
-real boy love, not just BL mangas that I was used to. I was shocked, and felt betrayed. There's so many to read about this, why is it not mentioned? It isn't so simple, and everything seems so hopeless.

The White House Boys
-this is one research that I couldn't finish to read. I can read about serial killers and their crimes but this time it was so horrible and I just can't imagine.

German expulsion in WWII
-continuing on from sporadically reading about wars, there's so many to learn about the people who were left to deal with the aftermath.

These made me feel terribly hopeless, again bringing up the strong wish of 'I wish the world would just end'.
I know that there are many people who do good, and that their lives are very valuable compared to mine, that I shouldn't just wish everything to stop just because I see the world as it is.
For someone like me to live or die, it's so insignificant.
I wish to just end my own life then because obviously I can't handle life and this world, but I don't want to go to hell. I terribly believe in that wretched place, and with the kind of lazy and unmotivated life I'm living, I'm quite sure that's where I'm ending up anyway. It's what I deserve.
It's scary.
So, that seems to have answered something.. I'll just continue to cry and then be happy after and live and wait for something. Until I die then. *tips hat*

And that, my dear gentlemen, is a typical ADD adult.