new post for the years

It's been a while.
Things happened. Never felt so much anger as I had the past years.
It's dealing with strangers people and my dad that triggers  my anxiety and I can't not deal with them. My dad's non-diagnosed issues and neurosis looks similar to mine on surface btw.

I've never felt so murderous.
Also for the first time said that I hated God for giving me life, which had since been reconciled with my willingness to believe in Him. I was in despair and wrong. It was also wrong to blame the world for not adjusting to me, haha. The truth is I just, and will never feel real, nor do I even want to try.

But it's okay. I found an inspiration with Prince Harry, whom with his works taught me that I can choose. And that it's important to do your best, whatever 'job' our life we choose it to be.
For others, life is as natural as it comes, and not a struggle people like me find it to.
But it's okay, I can choose.

I am the captain of my ship.
My faith tells me to be brave and stir it wherever I want to.
Explore. Learn. Grow. I'm not looking for the end.